Full Throttle Worship

A few days ago I returned to the states from the Dominican Republic. I've been on a mission trip sharing the gospel, teaching the bible and helping with a Festival sponsored the by Reid Saunders Association. This is my fourth trip in the last four years with RSA and, to be perfectly honest, I was not terribly excited to go.
Don't get me wrong...I love mission trips, I love serving the Lord by serving others and I was pumped up about doing both. But, I'd been in a really dry place lately with my relationship with the Lord...my worship had been subdued, my prayers had been lame and I was sort of, well, kind of like a wrinkled raisin...just, meh.
As I arrived in the DR I spent a morning in quiet study and prayer, just begging the Lord to revive my heart and ignite my passion about him. I really resonated with the verse in Psalms that takes about "the leanness of the soul"...I wanted my soul to put on some weight; get all fat and juicy!
Well, baby, I was about 5 minutes into the worship and praise part of the Women's Conference that I was to teach, being led in worship by a Dominican "Mandisa" when my soul stirred. Oh, how it stirred, then danced, then leaped about!
These women, these beautiful, big-voiced, passionate Dominican women raised their hands, swayed their hips and sang like angels at the top of their lungs. It was incredible. It was amazing. It was soul-satisfying. You see, I am a big-voiced, hip-swaying, passionate American living in the quiet; living in the sit-still. I didn't realize how quenched I had been in worship until, suddenly, my soul was fat and juicy with it.
Then came the piece-de-resistance! I got up and sang with my Dominican Madisa-like friend Mikal. We sang Revelation Song; she in Spanish, me in English. It was amazing, sacred really. It was full throttle worship and the Lord smiled, and I was satisfied.

Please Compliment Me

I have often been struck by the subtlety of those face book posts that ask you to tell something nice about the person who posted: "Tell me something nice about myself that begins with the letter of your first name" or "tell me where we first me...that is if you really are my friend". What we are really saying is, "Somebody - anybody - please compliment me."
In a culture where you can communicate at the press of a button we are all desperate to get past the silence. It is a silence that is louder than a freight train...it is the silence of a generation that has no idea how to be kind.
I see this lack of kindness in my children. When one child gets a compliment, the other child has to throw in a little insult - just to even things out...make sure she don't get no big head or nothing.
The irony is that our kids are being raised in the culture of self-esteem. Don't you dare tell the kids the truth about their behavior or they might grow up to be axe-murderers or something! Bobby isn't a disrespectful and rude boy...he's...politeness-challenged. Susie isn't a manipulative, angry girl...she's "having a hard time making friends".
So we sit back in our chair, laptop on lap, hoping someone might say something nice to us...might just encourage us a little.
It's just the next-gen equivalent of when we used to sit by the phone, hoping someone cared enough to call and chat.
Man, we are just desperate for approval!
I began thinking about this as I sat at my desk preparing for a conference I am teaching in a few weeks. In Isaiah 57, God calls upon Israel to remove roadblocks, to prepare the road for the work He wants to do. I began wondering what my roadblocks are; sometimes we are truly blind to our own roadblocks.
The Lord's response to my heart-question was this: "You have an addiction to approval."
This was truly born out today when I was teaching one of my exercise classes. I was taking it really easy on my class since it had been a while since our last class. I told them as much and at the end of the class a woman came up to tell me this was the best class she'd ever been to...which is why it frustrated her that I said it was a lot easier than normal. Thanks?
It really sent me for a spin, this side-ways compliment. She liked the class that I don't normally teach and would prefer that I not teach how I normally teach. So...does she like me? Does she like the not-normally-me? Does it matter?
Why do I care?
I have an addiction to approval.
Approval is like a drug. If I am complimented on something, whether it's singing, speaking, writing, or teaching...it makes me want more. "Oh, really? You liked my song? What did you like about my song?"
So, maybe I should not be complimented.
On the flip-side, though, if I don't get complimented (i.e. a nod of approval) it is like withdrawals; not quite to getting the shakes, but almost. I need to know you like me. I need to know I am good enough.
So, what can be done about this need - this addiction - for approval.
As with any other need I have to take it to my Counselor. You know, the One Jesus said he was sending? The Wonderful Counselor...the Spirit of Truth who will guide us into all truth (John 16).
The scriptures are flush with the truths of how God feels about us and those truths become the anchor of my needy, little soul.
On my next blog I am going to share a list of those "How-God-Feels-About-Me-Truths", so hang in there, fellow addicts. I like you.