/2013
My
friends, I have been under conviction. It started out subtle and gentle, and as
I have ignored the calling from the Lord to do a certain thing, it has become
increasingly more intense - like a thumb on a pressure point in the neck.
Related to that conviction, I was recently struck - simply slapped silly - over
a verse that I have probably read a hundred times. First let me tell you the
verse, then I'll tell you about my whooping.
Jeremiah 29:13
"And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all of your heart."
Again, this is a verse I've read many times and heard in sermons many times; but it really was astonishing to me what I have been missing each time I read it.
The Lord says if we seek him, we will find him.
That, by itself is an amazing truth. God does not play hard to get. He does not tease us with promises of intimacy and joy and purpose, only to coyly hide behind his throne, giggling. He does not give us the cold shoulder either. He is found by those who seek him.
But here's what got me: "when you search for me with all your heart."
The Hebrew word for heart is "labab" which includes the "mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory" as well as the "inclination, resolution, determination" (Blue letter bible). The heart is the seat of emotions, passions and desires.
In a nut shell, seeking the Lord with all our heart means we determine to direct the passions and desires of our mind and knowledge and thought life on Jesus Christ. As we funnel our thoughts and desires on the Lord and his word we will find him.
Man, that's great!
You ready for the slapped-silly part? For many months I have been crying out to the Lord, that he would give me a greater understanding on his plans and directions for my life. I've been asking that he speak clearly to me and give me wisdom; wisdom about raising children, my place in ministry, and what He wants me to do. I'm a go-gettin' kind of gal and I have such an enormous desire to be out serving and teaching and ministering, but I don't want to do anything until I have the green light from the Lord. So, here I've been, crying out for the "voice from behind that says 'this is the way, walk in it'" (Isaiah 30:21) and, well, I ain't been hearing much.
So, instead, I do what has become second nature to me: I busy my mind and hands and ears with facebook, netflix, and amazon prime. Nothing bad or immoral - but certainly distracting. I've spent my time in prayer and reading the bible, then turn back on "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" while I wash the dishes and fold clothes. I ask for the Lord to speak, then I hold still for thirty-seven second, and when I hear silence I search through the newly released movies on Red Box.
I bet you're wondering what I do with my time, other than watch shows? Don't throw stones...I also read a lot. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for a good movie and a great book. I am a serious proponent for relaxing and hanging out with the family! What I am trying to say is that, for me, entertainment has become a stronghold in my life that has built fortified walls around my ability to seek the Lord with all my heart.
I want to seek the Lord, but only with the part of my heart that isn't longing for the distraction of entertainment! I have an issue with quietness...I'm not good at being still, yet the Lord says to us in Isaiah 30:15 "in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it!"
That's me. I would have none of it.
January will be a year since I first felt the Lord's gentle tug on my heart to distance myself from consuming TV and movies on a regular basis. I even told a friend that I believed the Lord was asking for more of my attention by turning off the shows, but I didn't listen.
I wonder now what all he had to show me and teach me...what might I have missed by being half-hearted?
Well friends, I wrote this and put it out in internet-land to say that I have sinned. I have disobeyed the Lord's instructions to accept quietness. And I repent.
You see, I love Jesus and have no greater joy than what I experience when I hear from him and spend time with him. I have cried with him and laughed with him and have thrilled to the knowledge that he wants to spend time with me too. Yet, recently he's been quiet and I miss those times with him.
Please know that this is not a "I have to perform to get God's love" kind of thing. No, this is a "I need to obey because I want to be closer to God" kind of thing.
So, would you help me stay accountable to more quietness? Would you ask me how it's going on my journey with the Lord? And if you need prayer or help, let me know!
Jeremiah 29:13
"And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all of your heart."
Again, this is a verse I've read many times and heard in sermons many times; but it really was astonishing to me what I have been missing each time I read it.
The Lord says if we seek him, we will find him.
That, by itself is an amazing truth. God does not play hard to get. He does not tease us with promises of intimacy and joy and purpose, only to coyly hide behind his throne, giggling. He does not give us the cold shoulder either. He is found by those who seek him.
But here's what got me: "when you search for me with all your heart."
The Hebrew word for heart is "labab" which includes the "mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory" as well as the "inclination, resolution, determination" (Blue letter bible). The heart is the seat of emotions, passions and desires.
In a nut shell, seeking the Lord with all our heart means we determine to direct the passions and desires of our mind and knowledge and thought life on Jesus Christ. As we funnel our thoughts and desires on the Lord and his word we will find him.
Man, that's great!
You ready for the slapped-silly part? For many months I have been crying out to the Lord, that he would give me a greater understanding on his plans and directions for my life. I've been asking that he speak clearly to me and give me wisdom; wisdom about raising children, my place in ministry, and what He wants me to do. I'm a go-gettin' kind of gal and I have such an enormous desire to be out serving and teaching and ministering, but I don't want to do anything until I have the green light from the Lord. So, here I've been, crying out for the "voice from behind that says 'this is the way, walk in it'" (Isaiah 30:21) and, well, I ain't been hearing much.
So, instead, I do what has become second nature to me: I busy my mind and hands and ears with facebook, netflix, and amazon prime. Nothing bad or immoral - but certainly distracting. I've spent my time in prayer and reading the bible, then turn back on "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" while I wash the dishes and fold clothes. I ask for the Lord to speak, then I hold still for thirty-seven second, and when I hear silence I search through the newly released movies on Red Box.
I bet you're wondering what I do with my time, other than watch shows? Don't throw stones...I also read a lot. Now, don't get me wrong, I am all for a good movie and a great book. I am a serious proponent for relaxing and hanging out with the family! What I am trying to say is that, for me, entertainment has become a stronghold in my life that has built fortified walls around my ability to seek the Lord with all my heart.
I want to seek the Lord, but only with the part of my heart that isn't longing for the distraction of entertainment! I have an issue with quietness...I'm not good at being still, yet the Lord says to us in Isaiah 30:15 "in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it!"
That's me. I would have none of it.
January will be a year since I first felt the Lord's gentle tug on my heart to distance myself from consuming TV and movies on a regular basis. I even told a friend that I believed the Lord was asking for more of my attention by turning off the shows, but I didn't listen.
I wonder now what all he had to show me and teach me...what might I have missed by being half-hearted?
Well friends, I wrote this and put it out in internet-land to say that I have sinned. I have disobeyed the Lord's instructions to accept quietness. And I repent.
You see, I love Jesus and have no greater joy than what I experience when I hear from him and spend time with him. I have cried with him and laughed with him and have thrilled to the knowledge that he wants to spend time with me too. Yet, recently he's been quiet and I miss those times with him.
Please know that this is not a "I have to perform to get God's love" kind of thing. No, this is a "I need to obey because I want to be closer to God" kind of thing.
So, would you help me stay accountable to more quietness? Would you ask me how it's going on my journey with the Lord? And if you need prayer or help, let me know!
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